Turning that Frown Upside Down: Frownies Facial Pads

If you must know what I’ve been up to in my spare time … well, I’ve been writing a book. No, seriously. Through whatever positive karma that has bounced back my way after a very bumpy decade, I landed a sweet book deal to write a Complete Idiot’s Guide to Girlfriend Getaways. I know, cool, eh? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it’s due like tomorrow so I REALLY should get back to it. But first, before you go thinking how glamorously Carrie Bradshaw-like it must be to be working on a book, think again. The size of my butt grows like two inches wider every day owing to many, many hours of staring at the computer screen and wondering if there’s a better word for “pamper” (oh, how I detest that word but dammit, sometimes it just works). My threadbare sweats and my lopsided ponytail are about as sexy as an angry javelina (sorry, Arizona humor). And what’s worse is that the cavernous wrinkle between my eyebrows grows deeper and wider by the minute. So new to my writer ensemble of nappy sweats and bad hair is a Frownies Facial Pad. I just moisten the patch, stretch out the wrinkle between my brows with one hand and pop that little sucker on with my other hand. The Frownies pads have been around since they were invented in 1889 by Margaret Kroesen who created them for her daughter. The pads are made from natural materials that adhere to your skin to relax and correct deep expression lines. They’ve also just introduced a new Face Lift in a Bag that comes with the expression line pads for brows and lips, pH Balancing Complexion Wash, Rose Water Hydrator Spray, Immune Perfect hydration cream and a travel tote for $99.95. But my money’s on the ingenious little pads alone. I even asked the opinion of a trusted friend and aesthetician who thoroughly believes in their power to relax and repair lines. I’m not saying they’re the sexiest thing but who cares? No wrinkle is going to get the best of me. Okay, onward. I got a deadline. Get them at Frownies.com. Photo: Frownie Facial Pads for Corners of the Eyes and Mouth, 19.95.